Protecting your wellbeing during the holiday season
5 practical strategies you can put into place now
The winter holidays are often a time filled with family gatherings, shared traditions, and excitement. But for many of us, this season of joy also can bring stress, anxiety, and even feelings of grief.
If you’re a person who finds the holidays emotionally taxing, know that you’re not alone. In a 2023 survey conducted by the Harris Poll, 41% of respondents reported increased stress levels during the holiday season, and 43% said that the stress of the holidays interferes with their ability to enjoy the season.
Fortunately, there are practical steps we can take to safeguard our mental and emotional health as we gear up for the holidays. Here, Jen Brandt, PhD, AVMA’s director of member wellbeing and diversity initiatives, shares five strategies to help you prepare.
Take a traditions inventory
Traditions are essentially habits that have been passed down through the generations. While they can be a great way of bringing family and friends together, sometimes we become so wedded to the tradition itself, we forget to consider whether it still serves its intended purpose. If it doesn’t, it can wind up feeling more like a burden than a joy to maintain.
Before the holidays begin, ask yourself if a tradition brings you joy and if you are continuing it because you want to or because you feel obligated. If it's a tradition you still look forward to, by all means keep it up. If not, it may be time to offer it up to someone else, or simply let it go.
It’s OK to say no
Take some time to reflect and identify your own needs and capacity during this holiday season. They may be different from previous years, and that’s OK. Be open and honest with yourself and others about your desired level of involvement and set realistic goals for your budget, time commitments, travel, etc.
If coming together in person isn’t an option this year, you can propose alternative dates to spend time with loved ones or offer different ideas for connecting over the holidays—for example, with video calls, a virtual holiday party, or exchanging fun photos on a family chat. (Matching pajamas or themed holiday outfits, anyone?)
Tips for saying no
Try to communicate clearly and early with family and friends so people have time to adjust their expectations. Keep in mind that using “I” statements and acknowledging feelings of disappointment can actually help strengthen relationships, even when you’re setting boundaries or having difficult conversations.
If you’re struggling to find the right words when having these conversations, here are some suggestions:
- I can attend one family gathering this holiday season. Which one is the highest priority for you?
- Traveling over the holidays is not in our budget this year.
- That’s not a topic I’m going to discuss here.
Create a calming toolkit
For many of us, even positive holiday experiences and get-togethers can lead to sensory overload and feelings of overwhelm. Create a plan for keeping your routines and meals as predictable as possible. Identify spaces where you can take a break, and create a toolkit with calming items such as fidget toys, noise-cancelling headphones, weighted blankets, or soft scarves. Gather supplies for simple sensory experiences such as eating sour candy or sipping a hot or cold beverage to help you remain present and grounded. If feasible, consider planning your own accommodations so you have a dedicated space to rest and recover.
Get some fresh air and move
Engaging in physical activity in the fresh air can help relieve stress and improve your mood. Go for a brisk walk around the neighborhood, plan travel-friendly workout sessions that don’t require any special equipment, sign up to participate in a community fun run/walk event (and collect a souvenir T-shirt!), or build other physical activity into family visits and outings. Air out your home or personal space by opening some windows for a few minutes each day—it can help reduce the buildup of stale air and pollutants inside your space, circulate the air, and feel rejuvenating.
Plan ahead
The holidays can be a time when we feel particularly vulnerable to feelings of grief, loneliness, and inadequacy. This can be compounded when we compare the reality of our behind-the-scenes lives with the curated highlights people share of their own lives. Remember, you can decide where to put your attention, and some advance planning can help you create an environment that feels supportive and empowering.
Making intentional, positive changes to routine also can help shift our moods. Set aside time to connect with “feel-good” friends and relatives—those who support your emotional health, encourage, and uplift you. Create a list of achievable activities—walking outside, savoring a new flavor of tea you’ve been wanting to try, scheduling a lunch or movie date with friends, taking an art class, or volunteering. Serving the needs of others can help bring a sense of connection, purpose, and meaning to your day.
For additional support, please keep this list of support lines at hand. And if you believe you’re in crisis, get help immediately.
Visit avma.org/Wellbeing for more tools and resources to help you prioritize health and wellbeing—during the holiday season and all year-long.
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