How can I make the decision?   Top

Your relationships with your animals are very special and may be different with each animal you have. When you acquired your horse, you assumed responsibility for the horse's health and welfare. Owners are sometimes faced with making life-or-death decisions for their animals. Such an extremely difficult decision may become necessary for the welfare of your horse and your family.

Although a personal decision, it need not be a solitary one. Your veterinarian and your family and friends can help you make the right decision. Consider not only what is best for your horse, but also what is best for you and your family. Quality of life is important for animals and people alike.

How will I know when it's time?   Top

If your horse can no longer experience the things he or she once enjoyed; cannot respond to you in the usual ways; is experiencing more pain than pleasure; is terminally ill or critically injured; or if the financial or emotional cost of treatment is beyond your means, you may need to consider euthanasia. Your veterinarian is best qualified to examine and evaluate your horse's condition and to discuss potential disabilities and long-term problems.

Because your veterinarian cannot make the euthanasia decision for you, you need to understand your horse's condition. If you do not understand the diagnosis or the implications for your horse's future, ask to have them explained again. Rarely will the situation require an immediate decision.

As you make your decision, you can discuss the final disposition of your horse's body with your veterinarian and family. Your veterinarian can provide information about burial, removal, or other alternatives.

Top

What if the horse is healthy?   Top

Economic, emotional, and space limitations may force an owner to consider euthanasia for a horse if a suitable home cannot be found. Discussing all possible alternatives with friends, family, and your veterinarian will help you feel more peaceful about your decision. If your horse has become dangerous, unmanageable, unserviceable, or difficult to maintain, euthanasia might be necessary.

How do I tell my family?   Top

Family members may be aware of the horse's problems. It is important that you review with them the information you have received from your veterinarian. Long-term medical care can be a burden that you and your family may be unable to bear emotionally or financially, and this should be discussed openly and honestly. Expression of thoughts and feelings by family members can be very helpful. Even if you have reached a decision, it is important that family members, especially children, have their feelings considered.

Children have special relationships with animals. Excluding or protecting children from this decision-making process because they are thought to be too young to understand may only complicate their grieving. Children respect straightforward, truthful, and simple answers. If they are prepared adequately, children usually are able to accept an animal's death.

How can I say goodbye?   Top

The act of saying goodbye is an important step in managing the natural and healthy feelings of grief, sorrow, and sense of loss. Your horse is an important part of your life, and it is natural to feel you are losing a friend or companion - for you are.

Once the decision of euthanasia has been made, you and other family members may want to say goodbye to your horse. Spending some special time with your horse may be appropriate. Family members may want to be alone with the horse. It is best not to wait too long before euthanatizing the animal after the decision has been made with all the available information. Farewells are always difficult.

Will it be painless?   Top

When the horse is euthanatized, death will come quickly and painlessly. If the horse is standing when the death-inducing drug is given, the horse will become unconscious and unable to sense fear or pain while still standing. After the horse has fallen, unconscious, to the ground, death will ensue.

How can I face the loss?   Top

After your horse has died, it is natural and normal to feel grief and sorrow. For some people, spending some time with the horse after euthanasia is helpful. The grieving process includes accepting the reality of your loss, accepting that the loss and accompanying feelings are painful, and adjusting to your new life that no longer includes your horse. By understanding the grieving process, you will be better prepared to manage your grief and to help others in the family who are also sharing the loss.

The stages of grief   Top

There are many signs of grief, and not everyone experiences them all or in the same order. You may experience denial, anger, guilt, depression, and acceptance and resolution.

Your first reaction may be denial--denial that your horse has died. This reaction may occur even before death, when you first learn the extent of your horse's illness or injuries. Often, the more sudden the death, the more difficult the loss is to accept.

Anger and guilt often follow denial. This anger can be directed toward people you normally love and respect, including your family and your veterinarian. People will often say things that they do not really mean, perhaps hurting those whom they do not mean to hurt. You may feel guilt or blame others for not recognizing the illness earlier, for not being able to afford other types of or further treatment, for not doing something sooner, or for being careless and allowing the horse to be injured.

Depression is also part of the range of emotions experienced after the death of a loved animal. This is when you usually feel the greatest sense of loss. The tears flow, there are knots in your stomach, and you are drained of all your energy. Day-to-day tasks can seem impossible. Sometimes you may even ask yourself if you can go on without your horse. The answer is yes, but there are times when special assistance may be helpful.

Eventually, you will come to terms with your feelings. You can begin to resolve and accept your horse's death. When you have reached resolution and acceptance, the feelings of anger, denial, guilt, and depression may reappear. If this does occur, the intensity of these feelings will be much less, and with time, these feelings will be replaced with fond memories.

Although the signs of grief apply whether the loss is of an animal or a human loved one,'grieving is a personal process. Some people take longer than others to come to terms with denial, anger, guilt, or depression. If you understand that these are normal reactions, you will be better prepared to cope with your own feelings and to help others face theirs. Family members should be reassured that sorrow and grief are normal, natural responses to death.

They may not understand   Top

Well-meaning family and friends may not realize how important your horse was to you or the intensity of your grief. Comments they make may seem cruel and uncaring. Being honest with yourself and others about how you feel is best. If despair mounts, talk to someone who will listen about your horse and the illness and its death. Talk about your sorrow, but also the fun times you and the horse spent together, the activities you enjoyed, and the memories that are meaningful.

The hurt is so deep   Top

If you or a family member has great difficulty in accepting your horse's death and cannot resolve feelings of grief and sorrow, you may want to discuss those feelings with a person who is trained to understand the grieving process. Your veterinarian certainly understands the loving relationship you have lost and may be able to suggest animal loss support groups and hot lines, grief counselors, clergymen, social workers, physicians, or psychologists who can be helpful. Talking about your loss will often help.

Should I get another animal?   Top

The death of a horse can upset you emotionally, especially when euthanasia is involved. Some people may feel they would never want another horse. For others, a new animal may help them get over the loss more quickly. Just as grief is a personal experience, the decision of when, if ever, to bring a new animal into your life is also a personal one. If a family member is having difficulty accepting the death, getting a new animal before that person has resolved his or her grief may imply that the life of the deceased animal was unworthy of the grief that is still being felt. Family members should come to an agreement on the appropriate time to acquire a new animal. Although you can never replace the animal you lost, you can get another to share your life.

Remembering your horse   Top

Death is part of the life cycle. It cannot be avoided, but its impact can be met with understanding and compassion. Try to recall the good times you spent with your horse. By remembering the pleasure of those times, you can realize your animal was worthy of your grief. You may also wish to establish a memorial of some type in honor of your horse.